France 2 Ireland 1 FIFA 0
Someone once told me that the perfect game was one that had a close score, a lot of chances, at least one switch in the lead, at least one moment of controversy, and a come-from-behind triumph.
Well, by that measure, the World Cup playoff between France and Ireland must be some kind of gem. I guess we forgot about the part "and the outcome not decided by cheating or an officiating mistake."
There has been much ink spilled, and all manner of ugly truths put about on this issue, from which many wild conclusions have followed.
Ugly truth (courtesy Roy Keane): France is going to the World Cup, get over it.
Ah Roy, politic as ever. And still burning with anger over his treatment by the FAI, apparently.
Ugly truths (Roy Keane, again): Look at how well you're developing your youth squads, Ireland: why are you even in the playoffs? Look at all the chances you didn't finish: why is the game so close that one bad call makes you lose the game? Look at how you defended the set-piece: why are you letting Henry goal-side, why are you letting the ball bounce in the box, where's my goal-keeper?
Roy is obviously a graduate of the blame-the-victim school of grief counseling. That said, he has a point. Aidy Boothroid said something similar when Attwell (may his name live in infamy forever) handed Reading a goal for a ball that never saw the inside of the posts: you should take your own chances and not put yourself in a position where one bad call makes the difference.
Ugly truth: Why is Ireland even playing France? Why did France get special seeding by FIFA changing the rules midstream? Maybe France should have been playing Portugal. (Not that the seeding helped Russia.)
FIFA deserves any black eye it gets for its continual bending of the rules to the benefit of the favoured few top teams. This seems a common failing of soccer federations: UEFA does it, the English FA does it, the MLS is a hopeless case in this regard. It all stems from a shocking misapprehension of a key attaction of the sport: the real chance that underdogs can win on any given day.
Ugly truth: What excuse do the officials have for being out of position on a set piece?
Well, they weren't out of position, actually. The linesman was down by the corner, and the ref was back outside of the area so he could get a good view of the shocking amount of pushing and pulling going on.
Ugly truth: "Everyone cheats, it is up to the refs to spot it"
The first half may be an ugly truth, although it must count as a poke in the eye to all the honest players out there, but the second half is an unwarranted conclusion.
And the most obvious ugly truth of all, courtesy Henry, trying to save his reputation: Yes, I handled the ball; I think the fair thing would be for a replay.
Yeah, right. Like that was ever going to happen. If you were so gung ho on fair play, where were you at the time?
Some have concluded from this swamp that soccer needs video replays to eliminate error.
Folks, soccer needs video replay about as much as it needs TV timeouts. The best proposal I have heard has a fifth official watching video replays who can "raise his flag" to the ref, if he thinks the officials on the field have missed anything, leaving it up to the center ref to decide whether to accept that call or not. Such a system might be quite workable, and may stop FIFA from suffering the ultimate humiliation of seeing a World Cup Final decided by cheating. My feeling is, it will neither satisfy the purists who want the game to flow without endless stoppages and revisionist decision-making, nor those who want to ensure there are no "incorrect" calls, ever. Some wrong decisions seem so trivial that it would be pointless to object in the flow, until they turn out to end up in a goal. Example: half-way line throw-in goes to the wrong team, who quickly launch the ball thirty yards upfield, forward gets behind the defender, bam! goal. (Real example, real game, by the way.) Now what? Rewind the last 15 seconds of play for a throw-in decision? Or review every throw-in decision in real time?
This game does not need to follow the NFL down the path to perdition where there is no such thing as cheating, only calculated application of specific infractions for which there is, somewhere in the 300 page rule book, a specified penalty. Do we really want soccer to become a game where you need to be advised that "if a push happens in the last twenty yards during the last 3 minutes of the game, and there are no timeouts left, the aggrieved team has an option of calling a bonus timeout, unless it is Tuesday, or a flying monkey is spotted in the stands" (or whatever the latest gerrymandered NFL rule is, I can't keep 'em straight). I say not.
What this game needs is a dose of sportsmanship. Stop calling cheating "simulation" for starters. Put some real teeth into the "ungentlemanly conduct" law -- if you're going to toss yellows about for foul language (another thing "everyone does"), how about for cheating? Any attempt to con the officials, should be dealt with very harshly. If you're going to add video-based fines and bans for fouls, how about for cheating? If Henry knew he would miss the first three games of the World Cup (which is about all France can expect to play, based on their recent form), he may not of fessed up in the heat of the moment, but at last France would suffer a realistic penalty for their actions. Or maybe: proactive red and yellow cards: you should have got a yellow in your last match but you conned the ref, fine, have one for the start of your next game.
Pull disclosure: My husband is half-Irish. Much dark muttering into Guinness followed last week's debacle.
